Girl

Born on March 27, 1985 in a small picturesque town south of Ottawa, the captial of Ontario. I was my paternal grandfather’s birthday present as I was born on his birthday. My younger sister, Victoria, followed two years, three months and three days later.

My parents moved my sister and I to an even smaller town not far from our birthplace, where we lived for a very short three years before my parents decided to get divorced. A decision based upon my father’s addiction to alcohol and his resulting mental abuse. The fact that I was three years old prevented me from seeing the big picture and realizing that the ripping apart of my family was due to my father. From the time that I could start to understand, I blamed my mother for the separation of my familial unit.

Growing up, my younger sister and I lived full-time with our mother back in the town we were born in. We had sporadic visitation with our father for a lot of years. We didn’t get to go when we wished to see him, it was more when he was sober enough to take us, or once he had met his future wife, when she was willing to put up with us for the weekend.

In grades seven and eight, I had a small mental breakdown, I spent a lot of time in my room or poking around through all of the paperwork that my mother had kept about the divorce. That was when I learned about what kind of man my father really was. I finally realized that my mother was not to blame and that my father was a mean alcoholic who didn’t think he had a problem. It was everyone else who had a problem with his drinking.

Unfortunately, my small mental breakdown was never really cured, but I went back to living life the best I could. I started high school and made a lot of really great friends. I was never really into extracurricular activities and when I wasn’t at school or hanging out with friends, I spent a lot of time on my own in my room. I have always been a shy, quiet person so spending time on my own was never really a problem. But since I was never in a really sturdy mental position, all that time alone only gave me time to sulk, which led to a full depression in grade ten. Suicide was heavily on my mind at the time, I regret. My mother and aunt made a decision to admit me to the hospital.

I spent three days on suicide watch. My father and his girlfriend traveled down the first night. I told him about all my problems unless they related to my feelings toward him or his significant other. I have no idea why I never spilled my guts then but I held back. I think it had more to do with being face to face with him. I have problems with confrontations like that. Still do.

After leaving the hospital, I got myself discharged from the local high school and started attending an adult alternative school. These types of schools are pretty popular now, but back then they were mainly attended by actual adults. I was only 16 at the time, so it was a bit of an adjustment from regular high school. But it was a good place for me because I could do things at my own pace and be treated more like an adult than a child.

I got a lot better after that. Seeing friends again and enjoying daily life was great. I actually felt somewhat normal, which was a weird feeling at first because I had spent so much time hating myself, my family and my life. But one thing still nagged at me. Not telling my father how I really felt. So after some time, I sat down and composed an email. One of the hardest ‘letters‘ I’ve ever had to write. I told him that I needed some time away from him. His past drinking and abandonment had really hurt me over the years and I just needed to not deal with it for awhile. I never anticipated that it would be the beginning of the end for my relationship with him.

In 2006, my father took my mom to court to ask for a discontinuation of his monthly child support payments. I was 21 at the time, so support for me would be ending within the year anyways, but he wanted to end support for my sister as well. He wished to retire at 43 years of age and move to another country to live the life of luxury and didn’t want anything to get in the way of that. During this time, he fabricated countless lies, one of which, claimed I was a drug addict. Up to that point any time he talked to me or wrote to me, he always said that he hoped one day we could be friends again.

I didn’t need a friend… I needed a father. But during the court process, he not only proved he could be neither, but he also showed me that he was not the kind of person I needed in my life. Ever.

I haven’t seen him since the last court appearance, when he walked out of the building to the sounds of my sister and I crying. Her crying was for the things he had done or said, my crying was for the loss of a parent.

Life has been a whole lot more pleasant since that point. Don’t get me wrong, I have had a few messy days where I have cried over the past or cried because I’ve always just wanted a father who cared. But in the grand scheme of things, his walking out of my life and me letting him do so, was the best thing for me. I didn’t need someone to bring me down like that.

My mom and I have had our rough patches as well, but most of our fighting was in reference to my father or my mental illness. In the last two years, we have grown closer than most mothers and daughters usually are. I share pretty much everything with her now. I still live at home with her, but we are more like roommates. My younger sister moved out last year and is doing great after a few episodes involving drugs and a mentally/physically abusive boyfriend. She has since moved on and is dating someone new. She is also drug free which makes me prouder than I could possibly put into words.

I currently work in the deli and home meal replacement departments of my local grocery store. Definitely not something I want to do for the rest of my life, but it will get me through until I get myself put through college and get my degree in web design / graphic design / programming. Not really sure which one I want to pursue most yet. But it will definitely be somewhere in that area of work. I have been playing around with web design for the past seven years now. It has gotten me through a lot of the rough patches in my life.

My story is far from over yet but has yet to happen so I end this autobiography with the hope that good things lay ahead.

Vitals

First: Ashleigh
Middle: Yvonne
Gender: Female
Race: Caucasion
Born: March 27, 1985
Location: Ontario, Canada
Height: 5′8″
Hair: Blonde
Eyes: Blue
Occupation: Deli/HMR Departments of local Grocery Store
Religion: Atheist
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Parents: Mom (Yvette), Dad (Gerald)
Siblings: Sister (Vicki), Step-Sister (Emma), Step-Brother (Chris)
Pets: 3 Cats (Karamel, Butterscotch & Fudge); 2 Fish (Spezza & Sundin)

Favorites

Athletes: Adam Vinatieri, Andre Agassi, Andy Roddick, Anton Volchenkov, Bryan McCabe, Cam Ward, Dany Heatley, Eric Staal, Jason Spezza, Kent Huskins, Mats Sundin, Rod Brind’Amour, Ryan Getzlaf, Serena Williams, Sidney Crosby, Tedy Bruschi, Tom Brady

Authors: Cecily von Ziegesar, Dan Brown, Frank McCourt, Harper Lee, Jean M. Auel, J.K. Rowling, Robert Ludlum, Thomas Harris, V.C. Andrews

Books: Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt, To Kill A Mocking Bird by Harper Lee, Romeo And Juliet by William Shakespeare, Summer Sisters by Judy Blume, Angels And Demons by Dan Brown, The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown, The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum, The Bourne Supremacy by Robert Ludlum, The Bourne Ultimatum by Robert Ludlum

Movies: Brokeback Mountain, Coach Carter, Four Brothers, Harry Potter Series, King Kong, Mystic River, Poseidon, Pretty In Pink, Pretty Woman, Real Women Have Curves, Romeo & Juliet, Shooter, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, The Lord Of the Rings Trilogy, The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants, The Sweetest Thing, Walk The Line

Musicians: 30 Seconds To Mars, AFI, Akon, Billy Talent, Bon Jovi, Death Cab For Cutie, Fall Out Boy, Feist, Finger Eleven, Hinder, Jack’s Mannequin, Jimmy Eat World, Johnny Cash, Keith Urban, My Chemical Romance, Panic! At The Disco, Snow Patrol, Story Of The Year, Sugarcult, The All-American Rejects, The Fray, The Killers, Weezer, Yellowcard

Television: Brothers & Sisters, Crossing Jordan, CSI: Miami, Dancing With The Stars, Friends, Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl, Grey’s Anatomy, Las Vegas, Law & Order: SVU, Sex & The City, The Real World, Ugly Betty